Avoiding Falling Into the Trap of Love Lost
Love is a powerful emotion that encompasses a broad spectrum of positive and strong psychological and emotional states, from the blissful, divine virtue to the utmost interpersonal connection, the highest personal pleasure, to the easiest, purest form of joy. It is one of life’s greatest pleasures to experience love in all its forms. Sadly, too often, love is experienced in less than ideal ways. Often, love is experienced as an event rather than as an enduring quality of our lives. Too many of us find ourselves falling out of love and not understanding how and why it might end.
Romantic love is a unique, wonderful and wholly rewarding form of intimate relationship. Romantic love differs from other forms of love in that it usually signifies a long-term commitment between two people who are deeply in love. People in romantic love rarely move at a slower pace than do those in other forms of love. In most cases, the intensity and frequency of their romantic involvement tends to peak during the early years of their relationship, gradually building momentum and then slowly decreasing over time. However, regardless of how long we’re in love, it is very important to remember that true romantic love is about feelings, and feelings don’t just “go away”.
This does not mean that once the intensity of your feelings for another person has peaked, you should stop feeling that love, or even that you should become unavailable to that person. After all, feelings come and go; ones that last considerably longer than those of a casual interest in another person are often very deep and enduring. The key is learning to distinguish between deep feelings for another person and shallow or fleeting feelings. While it is possible to lose sight of the depth of your love, it is also possible to find yourself in a place where you experience feelings for another person but are simply not in a position to let that person know your feelings for them. The former is known as a love affair, while the latter is called infatuation.
When you are involved in a romantic relationship and you start to develop feelings for another person, but you do not want to be intimate with them because you feel like you’re not supposed to, you may have fallen into a form of infatuation. This can be a difficult concept for some people to grasp, as love is often equated with commitment. It is true that you do have a responsibility to take care of one another, but falling under the impression that true romantic love means making an investment in another person – even if that person turns out to be a jerk or a downright bad decision, and even if the investment turns out not to be worthwhile – can lead to problems in a long-term relationship. Conversely, if you spend enough time feeling deeply connected to another person that you feel like you would be irresponsible not to let them know what your connection is like.
In order to avoid falling into the trap of infatuation or love lost, it can be helpful to understand the difference between love as a deep emotional feeling and love as an active pursuit of a common goal. Love as a feeling tends to be fleeting, and is only based on an emotional level. It is not based on any logic, and if the situation in question does not work out as well as expected, then the feelings of love tend to fade away rather quickly. On the other hand, love as a pursuit usually continues until the goal is achieved, and is usually fueled by an interest in the other person’s future well-being.
In short, if you’re having love thoughts, it can be best to focus those feelings on the goal of getting along with someone else. Loving someone involves feelings of attachment and compassion, and these types of feelings can lead to actions that are more constructive than simply loving someone because you feel emotionally attached to them. As you get more involved in the other person’s life, you can begin to realize the many positive emotions you will feel every time you look at them, or hear their voice. This will begin to help you cultivate feelings of affection instead of love.
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