Loving Someone Requires Letting Go of Your Passion
Are you starting to get the feeling that love is missing from your life? It might not feel that way when you first get a feeling that you truly love someone; it’s almost as if falling in love was not meant to happen. Love encompasses a whole range of positive and powerful emotional and psychological states, from pure virtue or perfect friendship, the most heartfelt interpersonal love, to the simplest physical pleasure. Love brings up hopes and dreams that we sometimes take for granted; it stirs passion in ways that are usually only found in the most passionate relationships. It can also be a difficult concept to understand, let alone act upon, let alone pursue with all the energy and commitment that’s required to make any relationship work.
One of the best tools to use in exploring love is intimacy. Love relationships start out as connections based on physical attraction. You start getting to know each other and becoming friends – if you’re lucky – before you move on to more intimate forms of relationship. That means that you are likely aware of some of the common physical language of love: touch, softness, kissing, stroking, caressing, wrestling, licking and sucking. You may also be aware of the emotional language of love: anger, adoration, lust, jealousy, commitment and trust. Touch, attention, sex, affection and the physical touch of a partner are all part of the language of love.
Physical intimacy can often be one of the easiest ways to get to an emotional intimacy with another person. As humans, we all have an emotional need to belong and to be accepted by our partners. Being in a loving relationship allows us to have these needs met, giving us security and the courage to express ourselves through expression. This expression can take many forms, including physical affection such as cuddling, hugging, kissing and even sexual touching. We don’t have to engage in any specific actions in order to display affection. Our basic need for acceptance of another human being is fulfilled in experiencing the love of a hug or cuddling.
However, having this kind of physical contact with another person does not necessarily lead to building strong emotional bonds. Many people confuse the two kinds of connection: physical and emotional. They think that loving behaviors are the same as expressing true feelings for another person. While there is certainly a strong connection between loving behaviors and true feelings, the former is not the only kind of relationship between people. Indeed, we experience strong negative emotions such as anger, disappointment and jealousy when we are hurt by others.
The need for a person to feel safe and nurtured is what leads many to form a relationship. The primary reason for forming a relationship is the desire to have the person you love close by. This is known as attachment. An attachment to another person can take many different forms. It can be a romantic attachment, a familial bond, a friendship or even a sexual attachment.
Having an intimate relationship with another is not something that you can easily learn. It takes time and practice to become deeply in love with someone. You have to come to terms with your own inner passions. Loving someone involves being able to let go of your own passionate feelings when you are in the presence of another person. In order to truly love someone you have to be able to let go of your own passionate feelings.
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