Understanding Your Partner’s Love Language – When Are You Hurt by Your Love Comments?

Love encompasses a broad spectrum of positive and negative emotional and psychological states, from the purest of religious virtue to the darkest form of addiction, the most mundane pleasure. All love is subjective, individualistic, and unique. Yet regardless of what anyone believes, love is defined by the universal spirit of God in the beautiful language of His word. We all have a personal love story to tell, even if it is only an occasional thought that passes through our minds. The love experience can be shared by one person to another, as each loves differently, all sharing the same desire to connect with others, family, and friends.

Some of the common emotions shared by those who love are: compassion, joy, peace, patience, sweetness, and goodness, and happiness. These four emotions are the result of the physical bonding of two people in love, and they all affect each other’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Those who love find comfort in the knowledge that another person desires the same things from them that they do. If they feel taken care of and loved, their caring will show, and there will be no need to manipulate or abuse the emotions and behaviors of another in order to get what they want.

Love produces feelings and behaviors, which are based on feelings. When we are in love, we become drawn towards certain activities and thoughts which appeal to our emotional makeup. These thoughts and actions are manifested into desires. In fact, human beings are programmed to react and respond to the attraction and desire with the appropriate emotions. The outcome of any given situation is determined primarily by the dominant emotion that was felt, and the subsequent desire generated.

However, passionate and uncontrolled love does not take this path, as it can have negative outcomes such as jealousy, anger, resentment, depression, and self-pity. When emotions of passion and self-will collide with the inner voice of conscience and self-awareness, serious damage can be done. Relationships built on these relationships often do not endure. The intimacy expressed in romantic love is a one-way street. One partner’s feelings and behaviors are washed away by the other person’s good feelings. Only later are the partners revealed as being different.

True and sincere long-term love is grounded in compassion, openness, and generosity, feelings that cannot be expressed adequately through lust or a quick fix. Intimacy must be cultivated over time, as it is not possible for one person to know and feel all of the aspects of another’s experience until they have been together for a long period of time. There are feelings, issues, and conflicts involved when two people come together in a serious relationship.

However, I do want to draw your attention to some of the more common pitfalls when you discover people’s feelings when they are in love. Sometimes when we are in love we are so caught up in expressing love that we can’t stop ourselves from saying hurtful and demeaning things. Remember that when you are in love, your emotions are just as valid as those of someone who is in pain. Use this love language when you are close to your partner to express the depth of your feelings and never use it as a weapon when you find someone who is hurt by your comments.